Thursday, July 15

We are a gentle angry people We are a land of many colors We are gay
and straight together We are a peaceful loving people And we are
singing, singing for our lives.
-- Holly Near

Wednesday, June 23

happy [family] day

I am finding it hard to write on one thing when so much has changed in the past couple months. Lately I've been thinking about my family -- particularly how thankful I am for them.

Since working at my new job I've sort of been forced to think about how I grew up and what qualities makes up a 'healthy' or 'functional' family. It seems that many of the girls who get sent to this program are here for one/some/all of the following reasons: no father figure which gets them searching for one in an older (often a much older) boyfriend -- it seems that any guy that is 19 and starts dating one of these 13, 14, 15 year old girls doesn't have pure intentions -- said boyfriend often gets them in to drug/sex/money trouble. The girls often find themselves in trouble because they have way way way too much time on their hands -- I didn't think the saying "idle hands are the tools of the devil" was true until I started working here. The last common theme that runs through the girls' situations is that often the mom tries to be the girl's friend rather than her mother and so the girl is given opportunity/no boundaries/freedom/ to make big mistakes and then the parent(s) don't initiate any consequences because they don't want to risk friendship with their daughter.

The more I've thought about it the more I wonder how my parents somehow intuitively knew to squash all three of those things before they were in issue for me when I was growing up. I won't go into details but, although neither of them came from the stablest of houses (that might be an understatement), they were able to create an incredibly strong one for my sister and I to grow up in. None of the aforementioned things were issues for me. In fact, I have a hard time thinking of anything that my parents did which could have turned into an 'issue'.

I wonder why for some there seems to be a parental 'on' switch and why some don't get theirs flipped. How are some parents able to teach their kids the difference between right and wrong? Why are some parents better than others at teaching their kids that for every action they take there is a consequence -- good or bad? And, why are some kids less likely to heed their parents advice...

Every day I am at work I am reminded of how thankful I am for my mom and dad. I think about how lucky I am to have a sister whom I love and [finally] get along with and share common interests and have similar ideas on what a family should look like. I am so happy for and amazed by all of my aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins who have always been interested and supportive of every idea/hobby/whim I've ever had. I am realizing the importance of letting each one of these people know what a difference they've made in me and that I love them probably more than they'll ever know.

family: happy belated

I love/miss/am thankful for all of you.

Thursday, May 27

Another 'new'

Once again, I find myself needing to catch up. At the beginning of this year I decided I needed to change a couple things-- a few of those things I wrote about on this blog. A big change that I didn't ever mention but wanted to do something about was my job. I had been working for my cousin's husband since moving to California -- it was a job I was incredibly thankful for, but working at a desk isn't exactly something I had ever been able to see myself do. I decided I needed to start thinking about working somewhere else and the perfect opportunity kind of hit me upside my head.

The same cousin introduced me to a friend of hers -- after a quasi blind date a little over a year ago, we hit it off. After about 3/4s for a year of hearing about where she works, I was hooked and applied. I started working for the program she works for about a month and a half ago. The whole experience has been a whirlwind but I am happy, excited, and welcome to all the changes and challenges.

Without giving away too much or too little, it is basically a boarding school for teens with issues. I pretty much swapped out working at a desk all day long for hardly having the energy or time to sit at my laptop long enough to think this blog. Although it has been difficult adjusting to the schedule change -- rather than working a 9-5, monday-friday job, this new job is 4 days a week but from 7:30 am to 9:30 pm. By the end of each day I am exhausted, but a good and fulfilled exhausted.

I'll write more about everything soon.

Thursday, January 21

Wednesday, January 20

Back to Reality

goodbye, seattle.
i love you.

Monday, January 18

the good, the bad, and my second resolution

1. Those earplugs that are made of wax.
GOOD: I love how it sounds like you're underwater--whatever noise you can still hear when you are wearing them is heavily muted. My mom is now unable to sleep without them because they work so well. I usually just end up wearing them while traveling, but once in a Mariachi blue moon I will need them at home; the house next door to where I live in Sacramento is full of Hispanic families and about once a month they have an epic party with pinatas, lots of kids, and loud music. I love love love that they do it and am quite jealous that I'll probably never be invited, but by the time I am ready to sleep, I am usually tired of trumpets and vihuelas.
BAD: This morning I woke up and quickly realized that I was missing one ear worth of wax earplug. I didn't want to be noisy and wake my friend Jill (whom I am vacationing in Seattle with) up while I searched for where it could be, so I snuck out to the living room of my sister's apartment to use my laptop. While the computer was turning on I put my hand up to my head to fix my pony tail and found the earplug smashed into and braided through my hair. Not so in to that. Yesterday morning I found one of them stuck to the wall and still cannot figure out how that happened.

2. Seattle!!!
GOOD: My friend Jill from Sacramento has a photography workshop here tomorrow, so we decided to make a trip out of it. I went to school in Tacoma, Washington, but for those of you who don't know, without a car it takes a little too long to get up to Seattle on the bus if you want to be here frequently. I think we would get up here more often than most, but we'd usually have to borrow a car or find someone else who had Seattle plans.
Anyway, I love it here. I love the air, the people, the food, the neighborhoods, the everything and I am thankful to have had a small handful of days to explore and play.
BAD: That I leave soon and don't get to come up as often as I'd like, especially since my sister lives here (we are staying with her and it is been perfect).

3. GOOD GOOD GOOD: Supporting cruelty-free companies: my second new years resolution.
It is easy to say you're going to support companies that do not test on animals, but the more you learn about it, the sooner you realize that it isn't as easy as shopping at a 'natural' food store or joining a local co-op.

I read somewhere that something like 115 million animals (that number does not even include many species as the government has ruled that some do not have to be included in the count) are experimented on and killed in labs each year in the United States, and that most of this experimentation is paid for by our own tax dollars. This experimentation is a multi-billion dollar industry that involves a lot of different manufacturers, companies, and people; and starts and ends with tons of animals in misery.

I won't go on and on about it now, but I've resolved to make a serious effort to stop buying and supporting products from companies that use or involve themselves in animal cruelty. If you'd like more information or want to jump on the bandwagon THIS SITE is a great place to start.

Wednesday, January 13

another new start

Perhaps I was a little too optimistic when I thought I would be able to sustain this blog by typewriter posts alone. It seems as though I could restart this blog a hundred times and still need to regroup and start over. I think that might say more about me than I'd like to admit.

Alas, here we are again and I am, yet again, resolving to be better about keeping this updated. I think I'll end up splitting my time on the typewriter with time on the laptop--it seems much more reasonable. It isn't that I don't love using the typewriter, but it is so difficult to type on and each post takes me so long to pound out.

Last year was sort of a whirlwind and hopefully I will be able to keep myself better organized and much more accountable to the projects I set up for myself. Last year my new year's resolution was to start silk screening and get myself up and running on, but that definitely did not happen--not having a real place to work on art, moving, and sitting in front of the computer all day sort of diminished most of my gung-ho attitude about that. That goal is still not out, but this year's resolution isn't so long term: I want to run a half-marathon by April or May. I'm still not sure about which one to run, which explains not knowing which month I'll be running it.

I had been running a lot in the early part of last year, as I was training for the running segment of Eppie's Great Race, but as soon as the race was over, so were my days of running. Yesterday was my first day back on the treadmill and it was horrible. I'm not down and out about it yet, but give me a couple weeks about how I'm feeling about running and I'll probably be singing a different tune.

Another resolution is to take more pictures. I need to document more of my life, whims, and adventures. Some things are just too difficult to tell with words.